Life Celebrations

My VERY talented mother created this for me. :) Celebration for graduating college. I love you mama. I'm so blessed with such a wonderful family and such a wonderful fiance. I'm blessed for the opportunities I've been provided, and now as I move forward with my life I am the happiest I've ever been. <3

The Most Amazing Thing Just Happened to Me (Part 2 of 2)

So I was sitting on the bench on the front porch of my new house. Recently home from work I was enjoying the summer's warmth and looking at our cute new neighborhood and it's evening activities. The porch sits behind a railing covered in vined flowers, and the old architecture of the neighborhood brings life to the houses sitting behind their lusciously green lawns. As I sat on our bench, an old lady was slowly walking by with her dog, and I watched her pass and responded to her hello. My head was snapped back to center as I saw the most amazingly beautiful hummingbird stopped inches from my face.

It came from no where, zooming down and hovering roughly 6 inches away from me. I've known for some time now that the humming bird is my spirit animal, reminding me to fearlessly dance with happiness, displaying my unique colors proudly. The hummingbird represents a small female spirit, quick and ready, but respected as warrior in battle. For those who know me I am a deeply spiritual person, reflecting daily on the connection of life and eagerly studying how we move through it. I've found a connection to the Native American spirituality I have been awakened to as I explore my heritage. By concentrating on the attributes of your spirit animal it aligns you to their values and helps you reflect those attributes in your own life. I've been going through a rough time recently, a transition period from my youth to my adult life. It has not been easy, and there have been many battles to overcome, but I've been moving forward with the partnership of the love of my life. Still, emotionally it's been very tolling. This is what a spirit animal is supposed to do, come in and out of your life as you need to realign. I have never felt so connected to the universe.

As I sat on my porch, the humming bird zoomed in from out of my line of sight. At first I was shocked, unsure of what I was seeing. But it sat there, hovering at eye level 6 inches from my face, looking me directly in my eyes. The experience only truly lasted about 30 seconds, but it felt like much longer. I have not seen any hummingbirds at my house yet, I haven't seen one at all for months and months. But here, when I'm finally home, winding down from a long week at my new job, recovering from my recent surgery, just taking a breath to take it all in and keep pushing on, this is when I see my symbol of joy and hope. It startled me at first, because my mind was elsewhere and it was not what I was expecting. I half expected it to attack me, as aggressively and swiftly as it flew down and came to a screeching halt in my face. But it just sat there. And so I sat there, trying to calm my worry while simultaneously being filled with awe. I have never experienced an emotion quite like that. Staring at it's beauty, it's significance in my life causing my mind to whirl. This is what I needed. Thank you.

<3 Lulu

Hummingbird: The Flight of a Spirit (Part 1 of 2)

Originally Posted on Facebook February 28,2010 at 10:41 pm

A time of deep introspection and insight has led me to finally determine the hummingbird is my spiritual animal of the moment, and quite possibly my totem animal.

Native American culture varies from tribe to tribe, but it can be said that 9 spiritual animals with different strengths and attributes guide you through the different stages of your life, and there is one totem animal that remains with you through the physical and spiritual world.

Finding a spiritual animal is not something that can be so easily told to you, it comes from an innate feeling of connection in past, present, or mind with such an animal. So here is one of the descriptions of sister hummingbird.

"Sister hummingbird is a joyous Spirit Guide. Her speed and dexterity in flight seems to express more than just her need to find food. Her brilliant colors flash in the sunlight, capturing the eye whenever they appear. Sister Hummingbird is the spirit messenger of simple joyousness and exuberance and teaches not to take things to seriously. To fly our own individual colors in the sun; to live on the nectar of flowers, to move faster than the eye can see, these are the virtues of infancy and innocence. She reminds us that the road of life is a muddy one, and that we need to forget the pains that teach us our deeper lessons, and simply be as we are. She traces out the filigrees in the air to dance her joy. But this same power also protects her from larger birds, who can never out-maneuver her. Even the Eagle is clumsy next to the Hummingbird. Her powers are feminine, even though many warriors chose to accept a bond with her as a power that protects in battle. Warrior, Protection and Joy."

 

This feeling of warmth and draw I have toward the hummingbird was recently strengthened with the reading of some passages from an amazing book called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. They've touched me so profoundly, I feel compelled to share their message with whomever might care to hear.

"... It is so important to be impeccable with our word and to become a spiritual warrior. We must learn to control the emotions so we have enough personal power to change our fear-based agreements....

How are we to become a warrior? There are certain characteristics of the warrior that are nearly the same around the world. The warrior has awareness. That's very important. We are aware that we are at war, and the war in our minds requires discipline. Not the discipline of a soldier, but the discipline of a warrior. Not the discipline from the outside to tell us what to do and what not to do, but the discipline to be ourselves, no matter what.

The warrior has control. Not control over another human, but control over one's own emotions, control over one's own self. It's when we lose control that we repress emotions, not when we are in control. The big difference between a warrior and a victim is that the victim represses, and the warrior refrains. Victims repress because they are afraid to show the emotions, afraid to say what they want to say. To refrain is not the same thing as repression. To refrain is to hold the emotions and express them at the right moment, not before, not later. That is why warriors are impeccable. They have complete control over their emotions and therefore over their own behavior.

"First we need to forgive our parents, our brothers, our sisters, our friends, and God. Once you forgive God you can finally forgive yourself, the self-rejection in your mind is over. Self-acceptance begins, and the self-love will grow so strong that you will finally accept yourself just the way that you are. That's the beginning of the free human. Forgiveness is key."

I desire to be as a hummingbird. I desire to move mentally and physically with agility, free of the weights of the world I have tried to claim as my own. Free from the unnecessary pain and suffering that we have been taught by society to dwell on and carry around with us. Free from self-hate and rejection based on the feelings of never being good enough compared to unrealistic outside expectations from unseen judges and juries that I have been giving power to influence my life. Embracing my true colors and holding myself to my own standards of perfection tailor-made to the spirit I have been born with. I desire to fly my colors into the warming sun and sip from the nectar of the beautiful flowers that have been so wonderfully placed in my life. And as the hummingbird I will be a warrior in my thoughts and in my actions as I constantly battle the conflicting inner strength and outward force of the world. Though I may be small, I am filled to the brim with love for myself, my life, and all those I may meet. That is my hummingbird.

My First Surgery - On Friday the 13th

At home recovering today from my first surgery experience. The past few weeks have been a  roller coaster, but its time like these I'm so grateful for the love and support of my family and friends.

The week after my college graduation, I found out that though I had been on birth control, I was pregnant. Shocked at first, as the idea sank in my fiance and I played with the idea of being parents and realized it was something we both wanted together. I had heard the first trimester was the most difficult, with up to 25% of pregnancies ending in miscarriage and 80% of those happening in the first 10 weeks. Most of my life, I've wanted to prepare myself to emotionally and financially take care of my family when I am finally blessed enough to be a mother. I want to be as good a mother as my own, and as my grandmother, but with a family of my own. I was so excited for the pregnancy, and my first child, but I was nervous to announce anything during the first trimester. I told my family, and some closest friends, and they were so excited for me that the news spread and it soon felt like the whole world knew about the most recent development in my life. I changed a great deal to try to remain healthy for myself and my child. However, when I went in at 10 weeks for a sonogram I was told things didn't look as they should. My fiance came with my to a MRI center to get a sonogram, where I was told I had the sack for a 10 week baby, but the baby wasn't there. My body had begun miscarrying, but the process wasn't complete.

My heart broke, and my fiance held me and let me cry out my pain. I have never been so grateful for his unconditional love and support as I was in this moment. After spending some time home alone with him, I finally told my family what had happened. They were devastated for me. My parents and his were excited to be grandparents, and they had grown so close to us and each other in a short time over the idea. They hurt for me and the thought of their lost grandchild. My sisters were over the moon with the idea of being aunts, were hurt by the loss, but offered all their love and support for what I was going through. My grandmother grieved too over her lost great-grandchild. As my child grew inside me, I loved nothing more than to play out Jona and my future family in my head, and began to love it as my own. This development shook me to my core, because there is no kind of loss like losing the life growing inside you. I worried about my health and my future ability to have children, but the doctor repeatedly tried to calm me down with the comment of how common such a loss is. She also said because I wasn't passing the remnants properly, she would have to schedule me for an emergency D&C surgery that week. I was concerned with the timing, as this was the week I started my new career at the Stockton Symphony and I didn't want to take time off my first week. I was also nervous about the idea of being put to sleep, having never undergone surgery before. But as the hours of Thursday night drew to a close, I tried to calm my mind to mentally prepare for my Friday the 13th surgery.

Originally, my Doctor had told me that I'd go into surgery at 11:30. Yesterday I received a phone call from the hospital and they told me my surgery was at 10:30 so I'd have to be in prep by 8:30. She also said I needed a blood test beforehand and needed to hurry in to get that done. So I rushed out there Thursday after work but they didn't have any paperwork for me. So after spending an hour and a half bouncing around departments, I was told they couldn't do anything and I would need to come in at 7:30 am to get the tests done first. I woke up at 7 to my grandmother's knock on my front door. We drove to the hospital, followed by my fiance. As we waited my mind was spinning about the procedure; what that meant for my future, the possibility of complication, and everything I read when I Googled what was going to be done to my body. I am prone to anxiety, and have been trying to find ways to calm my mind and my body. I've found knowing as much as I can about what to expect prepares me and helps me remain calm. I visualized the procedure and tried to meditate and take peace knowing what will be will be.

I've never really had a problem with needles, and controlled my will to acknowledge the pain and focus elsewhere to not be overwhelmed by it. I was soon prepped for surgery, and realizing I had a long time to wait, laid back in my hospital bed and curled up in my warm blanket to nap until they were ready for me. Around 1130 I woke up as the anesthesiologist came to meet with me. After going through another round of questioning regarding my medical history, a sedative was added to my IV and I was wheeled to the surgery room. Here I was given a mask and told to breathe, and consciousness slipped away from me. I woke up in a recovery room and was soon checked out. My mother brought me home and I'm recovering for the weekend, but all went well with my first outpatient procedure.

Looking forward, I'm remaining optimistic and am excited for this new chapter in my life. I'm blessed to have an awesome new job where I really think I can learn and grow toward my passion and the career path of my dreams. I have a wonderful family, whom I love dearly, and have been there unconditionally with their love and prayers. Though I am saddened with our loss, I am still blessed to have a wonderful house with the man of my dreams, my new Fiance. Looking forward, I'm going to keep moving forward. We know we want to start a family together, and though were going to give it some time first, that will come when it comes. For now we can enjoy being a young engaged couple. I am so blessed.

My purpose for writing all of this out in such a manner is that it is my own way of processing, dealing, and moving forward. I know not everyone agrees with sharing personal information online, but what I've come to love about life are the stories. I want to be able to share my stories with whomever may want to hear them. From my family and friends that are concerned, to anyone out there that might be going through a similar thing and find their own peace in sharing common experience. I've spent a lot of my life observing, and meeting the most interesting and wonderful people. As I begin this 22nd year of my life, I want to share my stories, and theirs, and have decided to begin blogging again as I'm finishing up the design on my website. Social Media may not be for everyone, but for me its a way to stay connected with the people I care about and that care about me. And if I can take all of these lessons I've learned and beautiful things I find, and I can share that to entertain, help, or please others, then I'm all the happier for it. I don't plan to continue on such a serious note, but wanted to tell this whole story once through rather than have to relive it continuously in explanations. Thank you family and friends for your love and support.

Love Always,

Ashley-Lulu

Response to "Go-Nowhere Generation" New York Times Article

A Friend of Mine shared this article on Facebook and her frustration with it. As I tend to do when I get passionate and heated, I went off on too long of a tangent, but thought it would make a great blog post.

Here is the article: 
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/11/opinion/sunday/the-go-nowhere-generation.html?_r=1


And here is my response:
One of the things that older generations don't understand is how millenials engage with eachother and technology. In past generations, not only was it cheaper to travel, but it was more important to travel to be able to keep in contact with diverse people spread out geographically. I'm all for traveling, but one of the other things our generation is attributed with are better relationships with our parents and families and more of a innate duty to engage with and support our communities. I think its great people are reinvesting in the communities they come from, because no one knows that community's needs like someone who was raised there. They make it out to be a bad thing to love where you're from and the community that raised you, but its not. And they have some numbers thrown in there, but make alot of wide inferences as to why Millenials do what they do, using a few outliers and examples from the past to highlight how things "should be". Well in every generation you are going to have both your movers and shakers, and you're going to have your general public that maintains the status quo pursuing a mediocre "American Dream" and no more. Its not like ours is the first generation faced with this, theyre just trying to point fingers as were coming of age and realizing how much bullshit is going on in the world around us. Were becoming adults and leveraging technology to do more from our home computers in a day than they could do in a month at our age. The older generations are getting older, and our generation is the largest that has ever lived, with the most purchasing power of any generation, and as soon as we realize that, and how to use that to control the trajectory of corporations and politics we will really become a threat to them. But as such a large generation, yes there are many who have been discouraged by the economy and their environment and feel like fighting for change and a better life is pointless when there is so much competition with both peers and more experienced elders also fighting for employment. This is not to say we're "going no where", but that there is so much economic and political noise as our generation comes of age, that the dormant potential needs to be tapped into and directed. This can also be very dangerous as it makes the young and influential prime prey for flashy campaigns promising purpose and hope (such as the response to Kony 2012). We want something to believe in, because our government, economy, and elders are letting us down and teach us to shift blame rather than leading by example. But I would rather my peers wait to activate themselves after critical thinking and for a true cause rather than getting swept away because we're told this is what we "should be doing". Better to sit and wait for the moment to act then act hastily as someone else's puppet when the ensuing results will not actually be in our own best interest, but rather benefit the privileged corporate stockholders seeking to use our purchasing power to repad their pockets after economic downturn. 

I am renting my own home, 60 miles from the community i was born to. I just graduated college and was one of the fortunate few of my peers to find full-time employment immediately after graduation. I understand that we all play a role in keeping the economy afloat, but for our generation we need to focus on strategically planning our future rather than running to the wind because that's what were supposed to do to keep things going as they are. OBVIOUSLY things aren't working as they are, were off track and not living sustainably. Maybe we don't want things to continue as they are? An analogy I heard from a famous economist is that our American economic system is like a car with bad brakes and bad steering. It doesn't work no matter who's driving it, when the infrastructure is not right, it will always eventually crash. So rather than condemnation for a generation born to a world in turmoil, monitoring the progression of the social justice causes and calls for economic reform, why not give us motivation and direction, or at least support. Lead by example and show us what to do to fix this, use our intellectual capital to look for answers to problems, reward us when we're on the right track. Don't condemn the one's not strong enough to take on this corrupted system on their own.

As a Marketing Student, I spent significant time understanding marketing research, and how to use it to get what you want. I love my profession, but I understand Marketing as corporate manipulation. Once you know who your target audience is, you act in ways to play to their psyche and get them to respond in the way you desire. The same is true of politics and journalism. This is done in journalism by the way a story is framed, but before the validity of a claim is established, the perspective of the framework needs to be taken into account. The funny thing about personal perspectives is that when you're looking for something you will find it. When you're looking for research and statistics to back a belief, you will be able to find or create them through primary or secondary research. You will also generally ignore signifiers opposing your stance, because only the results with statistical significance get published in journals, not researching that ends inconclusive or rejecting the null hypothesis of no correlation. Though this article may capture parts of my generation, it does not speak for all of it, for myself, or the vast majority of my peers that I am fortunate enough to call my friends. Truly, its all a matter of perspective. With so much stimuli constantly coming in, its human nature to reaffirm preexisting believes and ignore outliers, but that does not mean that this is the entire truth, just the way we see it or we've been instructed to see it. Yet, it's easier to point fingers than to offer a hand when our shortcomings are realized.

I agree that when people are always filling their minds with technology and outside information they arent thinking as much for themselves. It curbs creativity and innovation and can lead  to sedentary lifestyles, so its important to take time to unplug as well. What they also dont address is how technology is our generation's frontier, a new and unchartered playground with endless possibilities. It is similar but different to the geographic exploration of our ancestors, but less detrimental to other cultures and natural resources. It's easier to connect with many different communities you identify with, growing off their ideas and with their encouragement, all from the comfort of your own home. With information and communication at our fingertips, geographic relocation isnt as necessary for sharing and building on ideas, but it is more of an expensive luxury because of the economy and rising costs of gas. I can barely cover my gas to and from work in the same city, and I have more important bills to pay than taking as many road trips as i did just a few years ago. They make it seem like its a bad thing to want to reinvest in community and establish a life and future family near the family that raised you. Ok its cheaper to go to North Dakota, but who wants to go there? What if you're happy with where you live but can't afford to live there on your own? Both sides of my family have strong ties in California, including my Native American tribes, and though I've traveled all that has done is show me there is NO WHERE ELSE I want to live. Additionally, many other cultures keep family together until the children are married, and even then they invest in the community which then in turn invest in raising the child to be wise and ethical.

If you ask me, the older generations have it wrong. We've had it wrong on a slippery slope since the birth of capitalism putting the pursuit of personal riches before the most valuable resources we have - our time and our lives. Putting pursuit of riches before family and community has lead to alot of the problems were facing today, and the moral and ethical depravity that's eating away our nation from the inside out as well as the depletion of our finite natural resources in the guise of progress and profit. So let them hate on the "Occupy" movement, were a product of our choices and the environment that has been created for us by those that came before. Although we are a product of our predecessors we do not need to be condemned to their choices and mistakes, but rather should take this as an opportunity to stop pointing fingers, accept the realities of our own shortcomings, because we cannot change them, we can only decide our own actions and future. We just need to be sure to watch and listen now so that in a few years time when its our turn to run things we don't lead our kids into the same economic turbulence and finger-pointing games our predecessors are teaching us now

:) Thanks for sharing the article. I feel much better after that tangent. :P haha. We may be young, but we're smart and motivated. If we ever realize our power we will be a force to be reckoned with, and being raised with technology we have an advantage over older professionals that have to learn it from scratch. It comes natural to us, and though they have more experience we have the ability to teach ourselves anything we have the motivation to with a few finger twitches and a youtube video or two. They may not get us, but they do fear us, because we care and we're smart enough to do something about it. People in control like things the way they are from their seat of privilege and power. We just gotta use the doubt and repression as fuel to keep fighting harder, because words only mean so much. Its our actions that will speak for us.

Autobiography - The Content, Context, and Passion of My Life

INTRODUCTION

I was born on the 15^th day of June in 1990. As the eldest daughter to my mother and father, I have been blessed with the selfless love of the best family I could ever ask for and the wise advice and guidance from my community elders. Before I go further in regards to the content of my life, it is important to understand the context of the world I was born into as the pursuit of my passions is rooted in the global culture to which I was born. 1990 marked the change of a decade from the 80’s to the 90’s, and the world was shifting dramatically. This was the last year of the Cold War Era and documented dramatic political and social changes around the world.  As the Cold War came to a close, the Gulf War began. Political unrest led to revolutions and was accompanied by many former Soviet nations declaring their independence. Though there were movements and agreements made toward solidarity and peace in this international platform, there were also horrific terrorist attacks and national disasters in 1990. Revolutionary action was stirring up innovation globally, and this was the year that birthed the World Wide Web as well a number of noteworthy scientific advancements. With technological innovations beginning to affect the way we communicate, I was born into an increasingly smaller world as our networks began to grow exponentially stronger internationally. As this cultural diffusion was happening all over the world, new frontiers began to develop and social justice initiatives that transcend national boundaries began to reshape the world as we know it.

THE WORLD IN 1990

                To begin the year, the United States invaded Panama which resulted in Manuel Noriega surrendering to American forces. There were significant political changes resulting from the Cold War, beginning with Lithuania demonstrating for and later declaring its independence from the Soviet Union. Soviet Troop killed 130 and wounded 700 protesters for national independence in Baku, Azerbaijan, but this did not kill the revolutions. 1990 was the year that East Germany held their first elections, which would lead to East and West Germany deciding to merge their currency and economy before the end of the year. In Estonia’s first free elections they declared that Soviet rule had been illegal since 1940. The Soviet Union apologized for the Katyn Massacre, but the snowballing effect of independence was already in motion. Latvia declared its independence, followed by Estonia restoring its name to the Republic of Estonia with its previous state emblems. Romania joined the movement as they held their first post-communist presidential and parliamentary elections, and the Republic of Yemen was formed from the Yemen Arab Republic and the People’s Democratic Republic of Yemen. Along with political reshaping, this was the year George H.W. Bush and Mikhail Gorbachev signed the treaty to end chemical weapon production and began destroying their respective stocks in the United States and the Soviet Union. Gorbachev was later awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to ease the tensions post-Cold War as Russia was reformed. To conclude the 1990 Cold War events, the parliament of the Russian Federation declared sovereignty, as did Belarus, and when Azerbaijan declared independence it finally lead to the collapse of the Soviet Union.

                With the end of one war was the beginning of another as terrorism and political action between Iraq and Kuwait lead to America’s involvement in the Gulf War. After Iraq invaded Kuwait, the United Nations Security Council ordered a global trade embargo against Iraq. President George H.W. Bush made a statement on television threatening to remove the Iraqi soldiers with force. This was followed by the passing of the UN Security Resolution 678 which authorized military intervention if Iraq did not withdraw and release their hostages. Before the end of 1990, Saddam Hussein did release the hostages, but the trouble wasn’t over. On an international level this year saw acts of terrorism across the globe. A terrorist act in Azerbaijan resulted in the Armenian terrorists blowing up a passenger bus killing 14 and wounding 35. In the Caribbean, a coup attempt on the parliament building in Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago lasted 5 days and killed almost 20 people. The Middle East also saw continued Israeli-Palestinian Conflict as Israeli police killed 17 and wounded over 100 Palestinians near the Dome Rock mosque on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

                Though the world was going through a period of uncertainty in 1990, there were many positive revolutionary acts and developments as well. The United Kingdom and Argentina restored their diplomatic relations after 8 years of problems. In 1990 the FIFA World Cup was held in Italy, where the world watched West Germany defeat Argentina. The International Olympics Committee decided that year that the 1996 Summer Olympics would be held in Atlanta, Georgia in the United States. International cooperation continued as the Charter of Paris for a New Europe was signed between European Nations, Canada, and the United States. With the end of the Soviet Union Russia saw it first McDonalds this year as the corporate giant continued its international trek. It was also the year Nelson Mandela was finally released near Cape Town, South Africa after 27 years of incarceration. Additionally, Brian Keenan, an Irish writer, was released from Lebanon after 5 years in captivity. 18 months after a coup in Haiti, Prosper Avril was removed from his seat of power in 1990 to be replaced by elected President Jean-Bertrand Aristide ending 3 decades of military rule. Similarly, Bangladesh President Hossain Mohammad Ershad was forced to resign after massive protests in his country. In Croatia, the Serbian Democratic Party declared the sovereignty of the Serbs in Croatia and the first constitution of the Republic of Croatia was adopted.

                1990 saw dramatic changes geologically and technologically as well as politically. A 7.3 earthquake killed thousands in Manjil, Iran. Later, an underwater volcano called Mount Didicas erupted in the Philippines and was followed a short time later by a 7.7 earthquake killing 1,600. This was also the year Exxon was indicted on 5 criminal counts for the Exxon Valdez oil spill that had significant environmental damage. As support teams attempted to deal with the environmental devastation, NASA put the Hubble Space Telescope into orbit. Paleontologists mark the year the with discovery of the best preserved Tyrannosaurus rex specimen ever found in Faith, South Dakota. One of the most significant advances though may be in the technological developments of 1990. Earlier in the year, Steve Jackson Games was raided by the Secret Service which later led to the development of the Electronic Frontier Foundation to raise public awareness about civil liberties issues associated with advancing computer-based communications media. Later in the year, Col Needham launched the Internet Movie Database which allowed users to search for information regarding films online. Though this seems simple now it was revolutionary at the time. However, the most significant achievement of this year was Tim Berners-Lee publishing the formal proposal for the World Wide Web and then creating the very first webpage on the first web server.

                As the world was reforming and the frontiers of the new millennia were developing, cultural issues transcending national boundaries such as gender equality and homosexuality were advancing as well. In 1990 the World Health Organization finally removed homosexuality from its list of diseases. Following this, Queensland Australia decriminalized homosexual acts between consenting adults. The first female Anglican priests, Kathleen Young and Irene Templeton, were ordained at St. Anne’s Cathedral in 1990. Not to be outdone, Ireland elected its first female President Mary Robinson, catching international attention. In America, George H.W. Bush signed the Americans with Disabilities Act designed to protect disabled Americans from discrimination. All in all, 1990 saw monumental changes, and least importance of all of these is my birth. However, I have a very unique and rich story with a vibrant and trying background that I’m eager to share within the context of my own cultural lenses and privileges. This may appear just another autobiography, but the Native American side of my family taught their youth through oral tradition. I have composed this document to explain my lessons of world history and examine my role in it for all those I may serve as a teacher or an elder to, that the wisdom of my family is not lost.

CALIFORNIAN

                I like to jest that my family has been Californians since before my friends’ immigrant ancestors knew what California was. The truth is that is only a part of my family tree and to get a thorough understanding of how I have developed into the person I am today a more inclusive explanation is needed. My mother’s grandmother is Native American hailing from the Wintu, Pitriver, and Chimariko tribes of Northern California. She married a Russian man whose family escaped through Canada to California during the Second World War. As Native Americans were considered the lowest social class at the time, for his love of my great-grandmother he wrote scores of romantic poetry, but his love was not recognized by his family. They were wed, and he was disowned for the disgrace of marrying a “dirty Indian”. Their eldest daughter was my grandmother, and after her mother died young of cancer it was my grandmother’s responsibility to raise her siblings and take care of the motherly responsibilities though she was just a child herself. Her struggles growing up with nothing led to her relentless work ethic and her self-taught mastery of a diversity of tasks and specialty skills. She implemented what she learned at home and as the highest tiered civilian employee in the Transportation Department at McClellan Air Force Base in Sacramento, Ca.

                My mother’s father’s side is also a very interesting one. Born in Kansas of natural childbirth to a white mother and father, my grandfather has dark skin and traditionally African-American features. His sisters were all white and he was raised in Kansas by a white Christian family, but this did not save him from prejudice and strife during the Civil Rights era. My grandfather began with an apprenticeship at McClellan Air Force Base’s Printing Press in High School. He enrolled in college and loved to play baseball, and was actually drafted to the Pittsburg Pirates. Unfortunately, he dropped a class which made him eligible for the National Draft. When he didn’t pick up a replacement class in time he was drafted to the Korean War. There he worked on cryptanalysis, though to this day he still remains loyal to his pledges of upmost confidentiality regarding his time working for the government. His General knew his love of baseball, and allowed my grandfather to play professionally in Japan for a few years before he came back to the States and McClellan Air Force Base. It was here that he eventually met my grandmother, and they were a strong multiracial supportive couple often coaching my mother and my aunt’s softball teams even after they divorced. My grandfather remarried and I have been blessed with another amazing aunt and uncle, but my grandmother remained a single parent and was highly involved in raising my sisters and myself.

                On my father’s side I’m blessed to have a grandmother with a passion similar to mine for genealogy. The daughter of a country Assembly of God pastor, she’s traced our family back to Norway in the 1700’s. My grandfather’s family has proven slightly more difficult to trace, though we do know they came to California from Oklahoma during the Dust Bowl. My grandfather was offered a country singing deal before he decided to serve his country overseas. When he came back my grandmother and he worked relentlessly to provide for their unexpectedly large family of 6. With a devout faith, my grandmother utilized her property management skills while my grandfather worked an array of blue collar jobs and they traveled up and down Northern California with their family.

 My father started his own family very young, and became an auto mechanic to provide for his new wife and daughter. He had my three eldest half-sisters in that marriage before they were divorced. Now I am blessed with 3 older sisters living on a reservation in Montana, as they are a different tribe Native American, with my 3 beautiful nieces and 3 handsome nephews. The eldest of my nephews just graduated and is making our family proud by serving his country. My father later took a job working for Ryder Truck Rentals, and worked his way up to a position of regional manager. My mother was a recent Marketing and Management graduate from Sacramento State working for Ryder as part of an arrangement to fund her education, and it was here that my parents met. After dating a while, they married and had me a year after. Though I had many cousins on my father’s side spread out across the West Coast, I was the oldest granddaughter on my maternal side and was very close geographically and emotionally to these grandparents, especially my grandmother “Mum”. My parents had three daughters together, and my grandmother was a significant impact on my life and is my role model for the independence, passion, and selfless love she has always demonstrated.

CITRUS HEIGHTS - MY BIRTH

I was raised for 18 years in the same home I was brought to after my birth in the North East suburbs of Sacramento County. I did not recognize my privilege as a child because my earliest memories are ones surrounded by tons of family and love and activity. Socioeconomically my family was lower middle class, and though I now know how rough some years were my mother worked miracles so that I never realized how bad things sometimes got. My mother had me in 1990, but I was soon followed by two more sisters in 1993 and 1994. With 3 young children to raise, my mom worked various jobs when I was younger and I would spend time with babysitters during the day. When my sisters came, she decided though she had her degree and robust career opportunities she wanted to be there to raise my sisters and myself. My father was traveling frequently at the time as a Regional Manager for Ryder, and my earliest memories of him revolve around his return home on the weekends with gifts from around the country. My Mom sold Tupperware for a while, and as an amazingly creative and resourceful person she would craft dolls to sell at craft shows to make a little extra cash flow. Then, she decided to go back to school to get teaching credentials so she could teach at the local Christian preschool my sisters and I attended. When my youngest sister was getting old enough to talk, my father realized the strain it put on my mother and my family having him travel so often. He quit his job at Ryder and together with my mother they opened Hale’s Truck Trailer Repair, Inc. with a Body Shop, Service Department, and Paint booth to specialize in freight vehicles. This allowed me to spend much more time with both of my parents, and to grow in an environment where I was constantly learning about the family business.

Green Oaks Fundamental Elementary School Beavers

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

It was not easy having my father as the CEO and my mother as the CFO of their own company, because from that moment on work always came home with them. Though the stress would put a strain on parents’ relations, and I’m sure it was not easy on my father in a house with 4 high energy females, it created an environment for me to learn how to mediate. I appreciate the struggles of these times because from a very young age I was able to see both sides of the argument, often with my mother’s marketing training leading her to point out the “devil’s advocate”, I realized generally the best solution lay in a mutually beneficially compromise. This came through in Kindergarten when I would attend special meetings when asked to be a conflict manager on my playground and for my peers. Through Elementary school I was very privileged to be at the best public school in my district. It was not my neighborhood school, but I waited to get in and then attended from first through sixth grade. The parents at this school were generally very involved and supportive, and I was allowed the creative freedoms and rigorous academics to explore the heights of my own passions and talents. Here I was in extra classes called G.A.T.E. for gifted and talented education where I performed my first dissections in second grade and was taught life skills and to think critically. I had two best friends from school growing up, one beautiful and athletic, the other quietly gorgeous and very studious, and they were both rooted in a deep faith in God. One of the best friends I have today I met through church, but even as we grew up and away she has always been the bedrock of reason and love that you need in a true best friend. In fourth grade I made a new friend, a young Muslim girl from Singapore. I was fascinated by her culture and family, and this relationship drastically affected my world view during the 9-11 terrorist attacks and ensuing national blind hatred for Muslims like my best friend. By sixth grade I was the Student Body President and my mother was the PTA President. I appreciate this sheltered time in my life as I feel it was a critical incubation period for me to develop, make friendships, and learn to appreciate my differences and embrace my intellect.

Louis Pasteur Fundamental Middle School

MIDDLE SCHOOL

My fairy-tale world did not last forever, and it was a critical turning point in my life when a friend of mine committed suicide the summer between 6^th and 7^th grade. Going from an academically challenging bubble to the mainstream realities of my pubescent peers, I entered into my own severe suicidal depression. I wondered why my friend would take her own life and what I really had to live for. I learned a lot about relationships as my friendships and networks grew, and I found my purpose in life. I got through that time by not focusing on myself and all of my apparent inadequacies and fears, but by resetting my goals and my perspective, and thereby forever altering the reality of my world. I realized I won’t be remembered for the number of dollars I die with in my bank account, but rather for what I invest in other people and how their life was somehow different because of my own. I couldn’t bring back my lost friend, but as a 13 year old it became apparent I couldn’t sit around and wait for someone else to be the friend people like her needed; I needed to be the change I was waiting for. As Arnold H. Glasow discovered, “Success isn’t the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.”

In middle school many seeds of interest were planted that have today developed into the passions I live my life by. I had the opportunity to take a Media class in 7^th grade in which we learned to write scripts, act, direct, edit, and broadcast our skits across campus. I remained in Honors Classes and began noticing my affinity for Math and Science as I was placed in the accelerated math classes. Then in 8^th grade I learned more about graphic design as I served as Co-Edit-in-Chief of the school newspaper and yearbook. I had amazing best friends, and though I was a social butterfly interested in hearing everyone’s story, I had 2 best friends at this school. One of them was a beautiful Puerto Rican, Mexican, and Black Mix and the other was a stunning model whose mother was from Fiji and whose father was an Austrian pastry chef. We were Lulu, Fuffi Fuffi, and Kakootzabella, and from this I use the name Lulu in my current blogging projects. I also became best friends with Bella’s old boyfriend as we all used to spend a lot of time together, a Salvadorian and French young man with a passion for his car club and music. The summer before High School I took a Web Design class at Sac State learning to design websites on FrontPage and Dream Weaver programs, and I designed websites for small businesses before I was old enough to work a traditional job. After that, Fuffi, Bella and I went our separate ways in High School, and though we tried to keep in touch our school schedule and Fuffi’s relocation to Orange County made this difficult. This led me into a new period of my life, as I took it as another chance to reinvent myself.

Bella Vista High School Broncos

HIGH SCHOOL - FRESHMAN & SOPHOMORE YEAR

Again in High School I didn’t go to my neighborhood high school, which was often threatened to be turned into a vocational school due to the low level of college applicants and a number of other poor performance problems. I enrolled in the best academic school in my district for the college preparation and the excellent Drama department because I love to sing, dance, and act. Though I did not enjoy the new drama teacher my freshman year, I took chances to explore my other interests. I played three different sports over the course of four years. I had gone back and forth between Soccer and Dance since I was 5, but I started out my freshman year playing Center Midfield on the freshman team. Though I loved the sport, the time commitment was huge and I also had a rigorous Honors and Advanced Placement Schedule as well as significant time commitments to work and my Youth Group. During my sophomore and Junior Year I enjoyed playing Varsity Golf as my athletic choice. When I turned 16 the summer between sophomore and Junior I was dating a musician, as I also wrote music since I was 12 and played acoustic guitar since I was 14. I began working hard for minimum wage at an Ice Creamery around the corner from my house. After that I worked seasonally for Mervyn’s in the Children’s Department before working as an Administrative Assistant in my parent’s business until graduation.

High School Graduation

HIGH SCHOOL - JUNIOR & SENIOR YEAR

My Junior Year is when I began dating my first real love, who ended up being my high school sweetheart until Graduation when I was 18. A 6’4” German Mormon, he played on the Varsity Basketball team and I grew close to his family as I would go support as many games as possible. My senior year was strenuous preparing for college, working, and taking so many AP classes. My middle sister was a Freshman this year, and I was so excited to share my campus with her. My sisters and I have danced many styles of dance over the years, as our mother was a college cheerleader, dancer, and aerobics instructor. I have trained in Jazz, Ballet, Tap, Hip-Hop, Modern, Waltz, Cha-Cha, Rumba, Salsa, Zumba, Foxtrot, and Swing Dancing over the years, but was not too interested in doing a sport my Senior Year. One of my good friends from middle school was the Captain of the dance/drill team, and I needed to drive my sister to tryouts, so I ended up trying out as well. It was a predominantly young team, but that gave me the opportunity to help play “mama bear” and offer whatever love and guidance I could. That whole year I would go to school at 7 AM, get out at Noon, work till 4:30, go to practice till 8, and then spend my weekends at various band and dance competitions. Most schools do not combine their drill team and their color guard, which dances with the high school band. Our band was regionally acclaimed and wanted more dancers so it was as if we did two separate sports in one year with two separate competing teams and two seasons. The highlight of that year was our team trip to perform at Orlando Florida and then on a cruise performing on the ship as it sailed the Bahamas. At the end of my Senior Year I had my sights on attending University of the Pacific, my Aunt’s Alma Matter, as they were an hour from home and offering me the most financial aid and academic grants. I graduated with a 4.3 scoring a 2020 on my SATs and was admitted to Pacific as an Honors Biology Student with my sights on becoming a Pediatric Doctor.

O'Donnell Fam

POST GRADUATION

One of the most important lessons my mother taught me to accept is that you need to set goals so you’ll achieve more, but at the same time you need to be able to adapt when plans change. Turning 18 immediately around graduation I moved out of my parent’s house and in with my grandmother for the summer. With my free spirit finally unleashed from the demanding environment of my upbringing I set out to discover what the world had to offer me. I have made many mistakes over the past four years, but my scars have taught me lessons that have led me to be the person I am today. Though I have never adequately articulated all of my experiences during this time, I am so grateful for every setback and lesson that I feel compelled to outline this story for whoever might have the desire to hear it. I am confident, because I know that the content of my life is good and exactly what I want it to be, but I am balanced in my humility because I know that I have only become this person because of those beautiful souls that have touched my life and helped direct my path.

When I turned 18, I decided I wanted to be single and date. I believed I had known a good, yet complicated love and though marriage was discussed I wanted to experience life because I knew I didn’t have an adequate frame of reference to know what love really was yet. I didn’t want to work for my parents anymore, but rather worked at a local Movie Theatre until I left for college. My mother is an amazing wombyn, but I know she lives with regrets of her own, and she loves me so fiercely she attempted to protect me from harm by carefully watching us and monitoring where we were and who we were with every minute of the day. I appreciate her compassion and intent, but it did at times make things so painful for me, and as I entered “legal adulthood” I didn’t want to be protected anymore, I wanted to experience the bittersweet realities of life. Over that Summer I rekindled a connection with my childhood love, and that helped me refresh my vision of who I was outside of my parents and outside of my high school relationship. I felt I was starting over and I could choose to be anyone that I wanted to be because perception is reality and how I presented myself would influence how I was perceived and therefore treated. Dress how you want to be addressed. I couldn’t stand people that were too materialistic or lived their lives by conformity and “group-think”. All through high school I would go to as many indie-punk rock shows as I could and I fed off the energy of the non-conformist, the cultural oddities, and the critical thinkers. I developed some bad habits at this time including smoking cigarettes and partying Wednesday-Sunday. I began dating a friend, a Mexican young man that would DJ at local parties and events. I was living hard and fast, but realized my Russian, Native American, and Irish blood gave me a real affinity for alcohol as well as addiction, so I never tempted myself with hard drugs for fear of liking them and losing myself. The summer ended and I entered my Freshman Year at the University of the Pacific in Stockton.

Students of Distinction 2007

UNIVERSITY OF THE PACIFIC - FRESHMAN YEAR

I began working as a Diversity Coordinator in the ALANA (African, Latino, Asian, Native American) Center of the Multicultural Center on campus. I met an array of people on campus, but was still so close to my friends in Sacramento I was going there almost every weekend and every chance I got. My parents and I were having problems as they did not approve of my life choices and threatened to stop paying for school. At this point I withdrew from Pacific in first semester and moved in with my boyfriend in Sacramento to work full time to save up enough money to fund my own education. I learned a lot during that time, and I had many wonderful friends and loved the Latin culture of his house. However, I found out he had been cheating on me with a “friend” I had always been uncomfortable with. Being with him also set me back substantially financially. I moved in with my grandfather, and spent a good deal of time listening to his stories and lessons. I decided then to return to Pacific, because with the financial aid I was receiving here it was cheaper for me to return than to go anywhere else. I had some good diverse friends I met through different avenues during this time, but many of them left Pacific around the end of our freshman year for financial and academic reasons. I patched things up with my family slowly but surely and found a new romantic interest in a Salvadorian and English Business Student. That summer I returned to Sacramento and worked at Camping World, preparing to return to the Multicultural Center the next year.

Halloween 2009

UNIVERSITY OF THE PACIFIC - SOPHOMORE YEAR

My sophomore year I knew I was not enjoying my major as I had before. In high school I loved genetics and molecular biology, but in college I was enjoying Chemistry and discovering life way more than the intense competition and memorization needed for ecological biology. At Pacific, there are Professional Schools for Pharmacy and Dentistry, and the majority of my peers were competing to be accepted in one of these schools. Working in the Multicultural Center, I would plan events that taught about culture and perception and acceptance as well as current social justice issues. I had been planning parties since I was 5, and enjoyed the attention to detail and creativity needed for bringing people together to enjoy themselves. A family friend was an Event Planner for the governing business organization in Downtown Sacramento, and she agreed to let me Intern for her. I decided to switch my Major to Business Marketing as I saw a wider variety of opportunities beginning with a Bachelor’s of Science in Business. I wanted to plan events with social justice causes, and if at all possible incorporate my love of music. My boyfriend at the time had been rushing a fraternity on campus, and I went through that as his girlfriend and spent a lot of time with his fraternity brothers. They were relaxed and respectful and it was a wonderful period of my life, and I ended up rushing and joining a sorority on campus. What makes any moment precious is that it is fleeting and this time too came to an end. Though I appreciate all the memories and bonds I made,  I was in a position I had to choose between my job and internship and sisterhood, and as I had to fund my own living expenses I couldn’t give up my job. An uncomfortable break-up made it impossible to visit my friends in the fraternity house without problems with my ex, so again I set out to reinvent myself.

The end of my sophomore year I began spending more time with an old colleague from the Multicultural Center, a handsome African American, Haitian, and Creole young man from the Bay Area. Our time together developed into a relationship and I grew to love him very much and became best friends with him as I spent the summer in Stockton at summer school and he worked for the Stockton Ports Baseball Team. I was still working at the Multicultural Center during the year, but began working an Internship with a startup company of recent Pacific graduates called Port City Marketing Solutions. They gave me the title of Director of Event Planning and I began to teach myself how to throw concerts in a larger venue. I learned from experience how to handle talent, lighting, sound, promotions, and financial analysis with our Domestic Violence Awareness Concert that benefited the Women’s Center of San Joaquin County. This was the first event I performed in as the opening spoken word artist. I worked for Port City into the next year, but my junior year would prove to be a very difficult one.

Women's History Month 2010

UNIVERSITY OF THE PACIFIC - JUNIOR YEAR

To make some supplemental income I took a job as an Event Manager for the University handling the tech for various events hosted in Pacific’s facilities. Additionally I was working at the Multicultural Center, and was President of the Native American Student Association. I took another job as Campus Affairs Commissioner sitting on Senate and Cabinet as the liaison between Pacific’s Associated Students and the clubs and organizations on campus. Financial strains and relationship troubles led me into the second most severe depression of my life. Though I was not suicidal, I did not want to die, I didn’t really want to live either and things began to snowball for the worst. Family problems back home broke my heart, and the same thing that led me to love my ex made it difficult for us to communicate about the stresses I was experiencing. We were from different cultures, and we saw the world differently, but once I made my heart vulnerable to him our miscommunications would cut me deeper than I could bare because all I ever wanted was to love him and make him happy and be happy with him. We broke up before second semester, though our relationship carried through the end of 2011, and I began isolating myself in my work which heightened my depression. I would use alcohol as a crutch to forget how miserable I was, and one night when I was passed out in a friend’s bedroom alone I was molested in my sleep. I do not know the extent of the molestation because I was unconscious at the time. When I woke up my friend told me he accidentally walked in and saw this stranger over me but didn’t realize I was unconscious. It took a deep emotional toll on me and I withdrew further from caring about school and stopped trusting I would be safe if I went out. Some more horrible things happened to me that semester, and that wasn’t the only night I was taken advantage of. I had to come to terms with that, but at the time I wasn’t strong enough to so I wanted to drink to forget the pain. One of these times I realized I had too much to drink but I didn’t feel comfortable where I was, so I tried to drive the 5 blocks home and my tire with the entire break mechanism blew off. The car was totaled as I tried to pull off to a side road, and as a cop pulled up behind me to help with the dangerous situation they realized I had been drinking. I was a few weeks short of my 21^st birthday and I was arrested for a DUI, adding to my isolation with the inability to travel independently. My ex remained in my life as my companion when I was so lonely it was unbearable. I maintained friendships I had made, but mostly wanted to retreat into my own mind and observe the way that everyone else interacted amongst themselves. Through this deep period of introspection, I had a professor, my advisor, who realized I was performing under my potential academically. I didn’t share with her all the details of my struggles, but she gave me the kick in the ass I needed to start applying myself again and not give up on my dreams.

ASuop Winter Tiger Nights 2011

UNIVERSITY OF THE PACIFIC - SENIOR YEAR

The summer before my senior year was a busy one. I had been asked to sit on the University President’s School Spirit Committee as a student representative with administrators to assess and make recommendations to enhance school spirit. Here I met the Associate Vice President of the University’s Marketing and Communications Department. A child of technology and being well versed in the channels of communication across campus, I spoke up and made some suggestions for disseminating Marketing Research tools that caught his attention. He offered me an internship working full-time as his personal intern, and I jumped at the chance. I began working with the Media department covering commencement and the Press Conferences with former Mexican President Vicente Fox. I’ve since worked on various projects as needed, spending a substantial amount of time on top current and aspirant peer comparisons for the University. I’ve used this research to develop a new University Wide social media plan that will begin to be implemented this semester. I no longer work for the multicultural center, but have continued to embrace the vibrancy that diversity brings to my life. I have worked to build the home I want to live in within walking distance of campus. I have 3 amazing roommates that keep me balanced and constant energy flowing through my house. The two roommates I originally had were in the LGBT community, and the other is Vietnamese born and raised in Germany studying at the local junior college. I am grateful for new and developing friendships, as I have been able to help my male roommate refocus his life and find a way to pursue higher education that will forever transform his life. He has introduced me to some amazing friends, and I have simplified my life to find the time to rekindle the healthy relationships that give me the energy to do the intense work that I do.

Commencement  May 2012

WHAT I'VE LEARNED

                Looking at the future, I’m so excited for all the various possibilities of where my life may go. I have been giving it deep introspection and looking for guidance from many elders around me. Before I address where I’m going, having explained how I got here, I would do my story injustice if I do not explain what I have learned from my strife. In Native American culture, there is this idea of spirit animals. You have multiple animals throughout your life that are concentrated on specific behaviors and attitudes, that come in and out of your life as you transition and need the lessons they teach. Above these animals is the Totem animal, which accompanies your soul’s energy through the physical and spiritual world. These animals are revealed to the individual in different fears, admirations, or appearances until it is clear to the individual what their animal is. I believe my spirit animal is the hummingbird, small but considered a warrior in battle that will dance out its unique colors and filigrees in the sky. I believe my Totem animal is the mythological Phoenix, as she reminds me there can be rebirth through devastation, and when it comes it’s a brand new chance to redefine who I want to be. Success will not be the end of my failure, but if I stop trying to improve everyday such a failure would prevent any future success. I love people for the nature of who they are in the unique context of their life. I believe that love is the most powerful transcendental emotional energy we will ever know. I believe that the smoky mirrors of modern society have distracted us from what matters in life by using “group-think” to play a giant chest game with the globe and advance the value of money over the value of life. I believe that culturally we have developed systems to sustain our life and liberties in an urban way which are not in their entirety wrong, but this can only be assessed through a resonating sense of the content and context of self as well as learning how to assess all stimuli and information critically.   

In Native culture spirituality and religion are different and separate things. Religion is the systemized way of worshipping a specific deity, or deities, and many Native Americans believe in a Christian God. The spirituality is recognition of the connectedness between all living things, that we all have a common destiny. A good way to explain this is if you are to look at a tree. From a molecular biologist’s standpoint, we’re made up of the same protein and chemical building blocks as the tree, just with a different blueprint for construction. When we exhale the tree breathes, and when the tree exhales we are provided with the specific molecules we need to sustain our lives. Native American spirituality is often misunderstood by modern culture. There are hundreds of different unique tribes across the Americas, and sometimes the old ways are preserved. However trends of a new overarching subculture with common modern symbols and practices are what typically exists in urban and suburban settings. Many of these culturally rich centers are not advertised to the mainstream media as is complementary or true of the culture, but stories are often framed poorly or spun for some alternative purpose. I believe all living things are connected – that is my spirituality, and as a scientist I can prove it. We all consume resources to sustain life, to create necessary energy to keep the machine of our physical bodies flowing in balance, and then expel excess energy, waste, and byproduct out into the environment. This process is what it means to be alive, and every living organism sustains this life as long as it can before their machine breaks down or their life is stopped by some external force. From all of this autobiography, the moral of my life is this: life itself is of the upmost value, we try to sustain it as long as we can but its brevity is what makes it precious.

WHAT MATTERS MOST

                So if the brevity of our life is the most precious thing we possess, and our life is measured in time, our time is our most valuable resource. We are all born into different systems and given certain labels depending on our role in those systems. These labels carry inherit privileges and disadvantages which we sometimes use to define us, but if we do we’re selling our potential short. It is our choice every moment if we use our time to live up to those labels, to run away from them, or to have the internal guidance to make choices based on truth rather than the system. This requires the strength of an emotional warrior, to not run away from our problems but learn from them and express our emotions when we choose it to be appropriate. For this to work we must stop caring about how they want to label us, and therefore strip them of their power to decide our life’s direction. You might have heard of this response as fight or flight, but I think our choices are truly fight your problems, run away from your problems, or control your environment to fix your problems. Within these systems those born with significant privilege are more easily susceptible to take those privileges for granted without outside comparison of the context of life around them. In this situation, although the resources, ability, and opportunities may be present, advancement is hindered due to a lack of motivation. Those born to significant disadvantages often appreciate earned privileges more due to the effort and trials that were overcome to possess that privilege. However, those born to disadvantage are often restricted in their pursuit of advancement by limited resources, ability, or opportunities. In my business classes it is explained that you need motivation, ability, and opportunity to achieve what you desire. I believe by providing the resources across lines of privilege to those most motivated to create their opportunities for success we have the opportunity to reshape the world.

                If time is our most precious resource, then the more time we save the more we can spend time doing the things we most desire to do. However, I feel like corporations have taken advantage of this to offer convenience over substance when profit is the bottom-line goal. I am a child of the technology era, and I’m fortunate enough to be born in a pivotal time in world history as global relations improve and international communication is increasing. I have been privileged in so many ways, with a loving and supportive family, amazing and diverse friends, and many trials and tribulations that my community has helped me to overcome. I have a unique set of skills when it comes to technology, music, event planning, marketing, and international relations. I’m not worried about being the richest person in the world, my most valuable possession is my time, and I invest it in those I love that my experiences might help give back to the community that’s helped me so much. People call me crazy for thinking I can change the world, but I think those crazy enough to think they can change it are the ones that do. I don’t have my future etched in stone, but as my mother always told me, “Shoot for the moon because even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.” I’m still learning, and as long as I am alive I will be a student, but the purpose and value of my life comes from watching the ripple effect of the love I invest in everyone I meet.

My Fiance and I - 22nd Birthday

GOING FORWARD

                Currently, my day job is as the Box Office Manager for the Stockton Symphony. Additionally, I am in the processing of open my own consulting firm for event planning and social media marketing. Shooting for the moon I’d like to launch myself traveling internationally and touring anywhere I can to see as much of the world as possible. At the end of the day, I want to open a University for Native Americans in Northern California. It would be modeled after a version in Johannesburg, South Africa where students get real world experience working administratively for the university, and their work subsidizes the cost of attendance making it accessible to low-income communities. I believe education is the key to thinking critically, and if we can awaken this interconnected generation of Millennials to pursue truth rather than tradition we have the capability to reshape the entire world economy sustainably. The old world taught that for a new civilization to rise another must fall, but I don’t agree with this model in modern context. We are seeing technical evolution at such a rapid rate, it is making it possible to communicate in ways never imagined and make executive decisions that more adequately represent the people. It’s not that everything in society is wrong, but it needs to be upgraded to keep up globally. However, the beauty in the cultures of the past should be kept alive as they still have lessons to teach us. This is just my story, and I am just one girl, but maybe one day you’ll be able to say you know one girl that changed the world.